I should have expected it.
The team structure had been motoring along nicely for five months, which is just about the amount of time for a big change to hit…
Last week a senior member of the team left the business after just three months with us – to pursue a once-in-a-career opportunity elsewhere. It was one of those “blessing disguised as a curse” moments, as we hadn’t had the huge success we had both hoped for out of the role.
It was the first time in quite a while that something has knocked the wind out of my sails. It was also the first time in quite a while that I wanted a margarita at 11am in the morning!!! Thankfully both feelings were temporary…
I was due to have a session with my coach that afternoon, but I called him just before I was supposed to be hopping on my bike into the CBD to meet him and we agreed that it would be better to bump our session into the following week. “To be honest”, I told him – “I just want to go get pissed.” And in his usual no-BS style, he said: “Well you should go do that then”.
I managed to steer clear of the pub, but did decide to give myself the afternoon off. I wallowed on the sofa for a while, got some Messina (key lime pie) and generally thought about what the f*ck I was going to do now….
I would have given ANYTHING for a grown-up to come in and figure it all out for me, and hand me a nicely-packaged plan that I could simply go make happen. It reminded me of all the times I’ve felt like that in the past, wishing that I had a boss who could swoop in and fix it all up without me having to worry about it.
99% of the time I adore being my own boss, but when the shit hits the fan…. Man do I miss having that management ladder of my boss, my boss’s boss, and my boss’s boss’s boss to escalate said shit to! Those moments where I ask myself in genuine amazement who thought I was qualified to somehow run a business?!
“Everything happens for a reason”, “this will all make sense in three months’ time”, “I’ve dealt with a lot worse than this before” and “all will be well” were on high rotation in my head – even if my heart at that point wasn’t having any of it.
By the time I was walking along Bondi beachfront that evening with Wade, things were starting to feel more optimistic – and even more so after that margarita, steak, fries and a malbec…
The next morning dawned and I rolled up my sleeves and got stuck into moving forward. After all, as Paolo Coelho says in The Alchemist: “When you can’t go back, you have to worry only about the best way of moving forward.”
I had to be my own grown-up.
I spent time with the team, the departing team member did an excellent handover, a farewell gift was purchased and team drinks were had. Over the weekend little glimpses of a better-fitting solution are starting to make themselves visible and I know that really, all will be well – for everyone involved.
I feel strong, the team feels strong and I’m trusting that whatever events unfold from this point will be what was meant to happen. I’m thankful for how professional and considerate our (now ex) team member was, how supportive the team, bloggers and Wade were, and that I was able to bounce back pretty quickly from the whole thing.
It has reminded me yet again that the Universe delivers these little bumps to get me, everyone involved and the business back onto the path we’re supposed to be on.
Those bumps force me to step up and stretch myself, and to grow up a little in the process. The bumps that I experienced a year ago wouldn’t even feel like bumps today – never mind the ones I had three years ago!
What was fascinating was that a goal I had been manifesting my ass off to make a reality for years got the green light the very next morning. Almost like the Universe saying: “See? I do have your back y’know!” (I’ll share with you very soon what that is…)
So if you’re going through a moment where you’re feeling totally, utterly and completely not-grown-up-enough to deal with whatever situation you’ve found yourself in – remember that you CAN deal with it, you HAVE got this, and you DO have all the support you could ever need within yourself and your supporters to sort that shit out. Like a boss.